A Curious & Scrappy podcast host
Episode Show Notes
Welcome to PodOn, the podcast where we share stories from other podcasters and talk with them about the challenges we all face when beginning the podcasting journey. If you are a podcaster, we would love to hear your story and your feedback. If you love this podcast, please subscribe and share it with your friends.
On this episode of PodOn, Julian and TJ talk to fellow podcaster, Rebecca Schwartz from Dating in the Bae, about her experience starting and growing a podcast in the middle of the pandemic. Rebecca shares with us the inspiration behind her show, how she got over disliking her own voice, and the tricks behind being a confident content creator. Join us on this episode to learn firsthand what it means to grow a successful podcast from scratch and why resilience, resourcefulness, and flexibility are must-have qualities that will help you thrive in this industry!
Jump straight into:
(01:42) - Becca’s dating experience and how it inspired Dating in the Bae - “I heard a bunch of podcasts about dating and relationships and they always have this element of “something's wrong with you” and I just fundamentally believe that that's not true.”
(05:27) - The pandemic creative nudge: “I was unemployed, there's a global pandemic and I was just sitting at home and talking to myself. So I was like, might as well just record myself.”
(08:22) - Stop cringing to the sound of your own voice - “You sound like what you sound, everybody has a crutch word, everybody has an uhm word.”
(12:22) - How to get phenomenal guests and offer something of value: On sliding into DM’s and scheduling - “It's the same approach that I have for dating that I use for the podcast, which is just “cast a wide net and see what happens”.”
(18:04) - On getting new audiences while staying true to yourself - “I think people should measure their own success and not rely on outside validation.”
(21:43) - Adjusting on the flight: How being flexible can help you expand your show - “I will brainstorm lots of random ideas and then I'll try and figure out people that can help me get those topics covered.”
(25:52) - Should I get a sponsor or a co-host?: On bringing collaborators into your project - “It'd be nice if I had a co-host because I could refer to them and then also we'd have our own banter.”
Resources
Follow Becca on Instagram
Follow Dating in the Bae on Instagram
PodOn is hosted by TJ Bonaventura and Julian Lewis, founders of the full-service podcast company based in San Francisco, StudioPod. If you want more details on how to fully record and produce your podcast with our services, you can reach us at http://studiopodsf.com, send us an email at info@studiopodsf.com or contact us through our social media channels as @studiopodmedia
Episode Transcript (via Rev.com)
Rebecca Schwartz:
I think people should measure their own success and also the growth over growth, and not relying on outside validation, because India could stop listening tomorrow, and I'm still going to be doing the show. And my numbers will drop. That's okay. And I'll figure it out as I go.
Julian Lewis:
This is the PodOn Podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
We're your hosts TJ Bonaventura, that's me and Julian Lewis.
Julian Lewis:
That's me. As founders of a podcast media company, we had to start a podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
So, join us each episode as we and our guest drop knowledge on podcasting for you, the curious and scrappy podcaster. Welcome back to another episode of the PodOn Podcast. As always, I'm joined by my partner in crime cofounder of StudioPod and cohost, Julian Lewis.
Julian Lewis:
I love how he changed the introduction every time. It's phenomenal.
TJ Bonaventura:
We got to keep it spicy. We got to keep it spicy for the curious, scrappy podcaster. And speaking of curious and scrappy podcaster, our guest today is Rebecca Schwartz, the phenomenal host of Dating in the Bae. We're going to go by Becca. I call you Becca. So, we're just going to run with it. And I know you go by plenty of different names, depending on who your friend is and who it is that you're talking with.
TJ Bonaventura:
But we're super excited to have you on, not only because you're the host, because at one point, and maybe still are a curious and scrappy podcaster. But before we jump on and get right to it, why don't you give us a quick background about yourself, the show and all the good stuff, and then we'll just go right into it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
All right. Well, thank you guys so much for having me today. I'm excited. I think I'm definitely a curious and scrappy podcaster. I mean, the one woman show over here, just Dating in the Bae, I created it. It's grown and evolved a lot more than what I thought it would be. But basically, I heard a bunch of podcasts that were always talking about dating and relationships, and they always have this element of something's wrong with you, something's missing, and you need to fix it. And I just fundamentally believe that that's not true.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And so, the premise of my show is that we're all whole ... Especially, it's mostly geared to women, but anybody can listen. Yeah. We just basically bring in people, astrologers, experts, coaches, lots of dating related topics, but everything under the hood of what issues we're all dealing with.
Julian Lewis:
That resonates with me tenfold. As I started with Couple Collective, and I really wanted to eliminate some of the expectations that people had of others, and when they're in relationships, or even before they are not. And I think the power of the content that you're creating is that you're telling stories of things that people are feeling, but not necessarily always able to even talk to their best girlfriends or homies about. So, you've created a phenomenal platform.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you. Yeah. It's been like a steep learning curve, but definitely enjoying it and growing every day.
TJ Bonaventura:
Let's jump into that curve a little bit. Because I know you initially started this with a cohost and that changed. But let's talk about the moment when you were like, we need to do a podcast. You were listening to different dating podcast. You fundamentally didn't agree with them. But when was the moment where you're like, "You know what screw it, I'm going to jump right in and create a podcast," and what went through your mind in figuring out what it took to start a show?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, initially, one of my girlfriends and I, we would just always drink wine and talk about all the woes of dating and kind of complain, but also kind of talk about more philosophical ideas about it. And it hadn't really evolved, I guess, into my evolution of how I look at dating relationship, other podcasts until I got more into podcasting in general. But oh, we have funny stories. And like we could shoot the shit together. Sorry. It's okay if I said that. But we can kind of just talk about all our funny stories, and people will probably be able to relate to them.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And it was kind of more of a myopic view of looking at dating, just based in San Francisco. From there, we kind of just talked about it loosely. And that's when I think I mentioned to a bunch of people, I was like, "Oh, I think we're going to start a podcast, but I don't know how." And then, one of my friends who was my building, Erica, she had connected me with you guys. She knew TJ from the gym. So, it was all kind of serendipitous, but we're putting it out in the universe, and then it kind of manifested, I suppose.
Julian Lewis:
That's weird, though, because I didn't realize that TJ went to the gym. He never talks about it. But no, in all seriousness, the thing that I enjoy about the progress that you've made is your resiliency. And so, as TJ mentioned, you started with a partner and a cohost. And at some point, you guys decided to no longer cohost the podcast. But maybe talk a little bit about the journey since you've been doing it yourself and what you've learned about the process and how you've started to see growth and success with what you're doing.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, I would credit the pandemic for a couple of good things. It kind of allowed me to shift. I was thinking more of just we would only have San Francisco based guests and the pandemic really allowed me to just reach out to anybody, anywhere. I could record with anybody and shoot anybody a DM and see if they were game for it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And in terms of my progress, I think it was, I got out of my own way. And then everything else fell into place. I remember when I gave TJ back my microphone that one day kind of gave me like a little nudge, "Oh, you could do it." And I never like actually thought, "Oh, I could do it on my own."
Rebecca Schwartz:
I've been thinking about it. A couple people have been like, "You could do it." And it's like, in my head, I was like, "No, I can't." And then just like, "Well, why not?" Literally, I was unemployed. There's a global pandemic, and I was just sitting at home and talking to myself. So, it's like, might as well just record myself talking to myself already.
TJ Bonaventura:
And you started to really think about when that time, a lot of people, I think with the pandemic, in general, they have these ideas. And then, if you're not going to do it during the pandemic when you have all this time, you're probably not going to do whatever that thing is, write a book, go to the gym. It could be starting a podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
The one thing I also want to commend you on is you actually took the initiative during the pandemic to focus your energy on the podcast. And even though you had that moment of, I don't know if I can do it, you decided to jump forward with it. So, what were those first steps? Because at this point, let's talk about you came into the studio, you thought you had a studio where you could record. We thought you had a cohost that you could share the responsibilities, that ended up not being the case. And then now you're like, "All right, well, I want to start recording at home."
TJ Bonaventura:
What were those steps like? What was your thought process? You're like, "Okay, I need to find some guests," I'm sure. You had equipment. Luckily, we were connected, so we could help you out there. But what about that upfront work? What was going through your mind? What was your process like in developing all of that before you started recording?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. That's a good question. I guess I was thinking, okay, well, I just need to record a couple episodes and kind of get my reps in, like the gym reference, just start getting a little bit more comfortable. I had a couple friends who used to have podcasts. And I was like, "Do you want to help me record and we can just get some practice in."
Rebecca Schwartz:
And it was like kind of the low hanging fruits of those episodes that I was able to start kind of figuring out, okay, these are things that I want to do. These are things that I don't want to do. I don't like recording really late at night with people or I'm not going to drink alcohol when I record. There's certain things I was learning along the way as I started doing more episodes.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And I think just getting more comfortable video recording, things I had never done before. I took a voice class. And that really helped me a lot just in terms of how I sound I suppose or trying to cut out all of my uhm and likes and you knows that I am prone to do that I'm probably doing now.
Julian Lewis:
I love that. You became a student of your craft. It was something that you committed to doing as TJ said, and you became a student of it, and you wanted to try different ways. And I love what you reference in terms of your low hanging fruit. People who are already podcasting or friends that you can start to have conversations with, so you could get comfortable on the mic.
Julian Lewis:
And I think that is the wall that a lot of people run into when they're like, "Oh, I don't like how I sound or I don't feel comfortable doing this." You again invested your time and your craft to learn it and to get over that hump, which is phenomenal. And I think all curious and scrappy podcasters can learn from that.
TJ Bonaventura:
But I think one of the things I want to double down on given where the state of where you're at when you first met us, and we're learning about podcasting, and ultimately learning about yourself and hearing your voice and something we all deal with, especially those who are new to podcasting, specifically, is hearing yourself and challenging yourself to understand it's okay, you sound like what you sound. Everybody has a crutch word, everybody has an uhm word.
TJ Bonaventura:
And one of the processes that we worked out with you is giving you access to Descript, to go through and listen to that. And it kind of gives you access to hear yourself and understand how many uhm words. I'm sure and tell me if I'm wrong, that kind of led you to go to that voice, those voice lessons, those coaching lessons potentially. Am I right there? Am I wrong there?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. Well, it was kind of also serendipitous because I was tearing the Descript. And then also I just happened to hear a different podcast on one of my morning walks where the guy who was interviewed was Bradley Cooper's voice coach who helped him change his voice for A Star is Born. Anyways, then I signed up for his class, which was awesome. I highly recommend Roger Love. I'm trying to get him on the podcast, too.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But yeah, Descript is awesome because it basically highlights all of the things that I know that I need to work on. And then I'm like, "Okay, oh, I sound super monotone. My energy doesn't match this energy." Even though I meant to sound a certain way I didn't come across that way. And so, kind of having to add extra energy and extra, just getting in the right mindset. I feel like now I'm kind of superstitious where I'm like, okay, I have to, I don't know, listen to my favorite songs before and I don't know wear my favorite shoes. I don't know. I don't know if people do that but that's what I do.
TJ Bonaventura:
It's like you're preparing to go into athletes prepared to go into a game. They have the same thing. They wear the same socks. They wear the same hat. They will have headphones coming in, things like that. So, I love that.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah, it's good. That's why I'm wearing a hat right now.
TJ Bonaventura:
Julian's got his hat. Julian's a hat guy in case anyone didn't know.
Julian Lewis:
I mean, I do have a question on whether or not the intent behind getting Bradley Cooper's coach was for podcasting, or if you're trying to be in a movie like Star is Born. But I think one of the things that I love that you talked about earlier, and you kind of said it quickly, but I want you to really dive into that. You've had some phenomenal guests, authors, founders of companies, like the person who started match.com. You talked earlier about just sliding into DMs and asking people to be on the podcast. Can you talk a little bit more about your process of outreach, and how successful that's been for you?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. It's actually sometimes freaks me out how receptive people are. And then, I get really overwhelmed. Because sometimes late at night, I'm just like, shooting off DMS to random people who have massive accounts. And then, they write back and they're like, "Sure." I'm like, "Oh, uh-oh." And so, I have a bunch of those that are in the pipeline that I'm low key freaking out about. But I kind of will think about random things like dating related TV shows. I had a guy who's on a reality TV show on the show. People just they're very receptive. I think people like attention in general.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And I think people like to say yes, with the assumption that most people, especially right now, people crave human connection more than ever. I think we're also getting more yeses probably than normal. But I guess it's the same approach that I have for dating that I use for the podcast, which is just like cast a wide net and see what happens. And the more open you are, you never know what's going to happen.
TJ Bonaventura:
Who's an ideal guest? If you could have any three individuals that you would want as a guest and you have them lined up, who would they be?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Oh, this is hard. Probably Trevor Noah, because I just want to talk to him. Brené Brown, definitely want to talk to her. This is tricky. I'm going to think about I want this to be a good person. Can we come back to that one?
TJ Bonaventura:
As you go through, you're going to have to let us know. So, let's talk about the mechanics of scheduling. You have the behind the scenes aspect going. You're working with us from an editing perspective. You have the equipment. You're feeling confident in your voice. You're sliding into DMs. You're reaching out to people as much as you possibly can. Julian hates when I use that term, maybe it's antiquated at this point, I just still think it's very funny.
Julian Lewis:
I'm waiting for the bridge between sliding into DMs in the gym.
TJ Bonaventura:
This is turning into the crushed TJ episode. So, when someone asks you like why do I want to be on the show, why do you want to have me be on the show, what is it that you tell them? What is it that you exude about your audience yourself, the basis of the show? How do you formulate that?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, basically, I say that I'm in the trenches with all my listeners. I can really empathize. I understand that the key issues that they're going through and feeling and I also have the same humor. I kind of just understand all the things that will push buttons that will activate kind of people's, I think, interesting like the topics and basically framing it to them. I think that their perspective will really resonate.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And also, I am trying to create a really positive platform where we talk about dating and a healthy way that we're not ... I want people to feel like when they walk away from an episode that they're taking away at least two tangible things that they can change in their life, something, whether it's just some positive mantra they can do or how they can fix those self-limiting beliefs. Any of those kinds of things, I want them to walk away with.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Even if it's just they enjoyed the episode and had a couple laughs. Whatever it is, I want to have a couple things that people take away and can remember it by and think that's how I want to make sure that the guests understand that that's what I want to accomplish with them. And then we kind of work towards that together.
TJ Bonaventura:
I think that's great. I think oftentimes, hosts like yourself, really get excited about having a guest on that they like or just having a guest, in addition to have a conversation. But the fact that you think of two tangible things that you want your audience to come away with is super powerful, and I think isn't taken into consideration enough.
TJ Bonaventura:
At the end of the day, you're creating this show for your audience to really just create awesome content for them to be able to listen to week in and week out. But the fact that you're making sure that each episode you have those two tangible things, it's just a credit to you and something that I just don't think a lot of podcasts out there think about. They just want to do an interview. And I think people are going to listen. But you have something specific. And I think that's awesome. And I think it needs to happen more.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you. Yeah. I think it's just when I think about the podcast that I turn on and then will stop midway, it's because I'm like, where's this going? It's just there's no arc or any sort of tangible walkaway. It's not an educational and you just kind of listening to something that I don't know. I feel like time now especially what is time at this point. But it's just kind of, I feel like our time is very valuable. And I don't want to waste anybody's time, especially if they're tuning in, I want them to take something positive away from it.
Julian Lewis:
Can you also talk about your engagement with your audience. Because from our purview, we follow you on social media. It seems like you're constantly posting before an episode and then you're constantly posting after an episode. Can you talk a little bit about how you've truly starting to build a community?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. I think it's kind of tribe of sorts of people are kind of all in this together, especially when even we're all saying but we're also kind of collectively feeling the same underlying issues. And I think being able to talk more openly about vulnerability and how to bring your authentic self to the table, and all these issues of dealing with rejection and all these insecurities that people are facing. And I don't think usually people talk about it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And I've actually received a lot of random feedback from guys who I know from other contexts that reach out to me. They send me long, long messages about their perspective, how it's changed so much. They were saying how they never had a clue about how women were thinking about how their perspective is so different and how our logic is so different, and how it just made them think in a completely different way. And I thought that was cool. Because I didn't know, obviously, who's listening. But it's just interesting to hear how everybody takes something else away from episodes.
TJ Bonaventura:
I want to talk about who's listening for a second, because you have found a specific trend. You're in 67 countries, I think, 68 countries as of right now. Your show was drawing every episode, it seems like or it is. But you found a certain country that has taken a liking to your show. Can you talk a little bit about that and how you adjusted your content to fit that audience base?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, apparently, India likes Dating in the Bae, which is super exciting and kind of random. And I don't really know how they found it. But I'm glad that they are interested in the content. And yeah, most recently, I had a Bollywood actor, who I just ran my DM, and had him on and kind of learned about dating in India.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And he's also British, so hearing about being Indian in Britain, and then also going back to India, and how that's really different. And I didn't even know about all the kind of, he was like, "Yeah, in India, people just talk about their phone number to anybody and they're very forward." And it was super interesting. And I think I definitely want to have more just different countries highlighted, because I think it'd be really cool perspective to hear about how we're all tackling it in different ways.
Julian Lewis:
That's such a phenomenal thing to look at, okay, where are my listeners coming from? Who are they? And let me try to find somebody who aligns to them. And so, I think for all curious and scrappy podcasters, take note. And it really doesn't matter if have as many downloads as Rebecca does have. She's what? Crossed the 50,000 mark a while ago, which is phenomenal. And it's going to take a lot of work to get there. Everybody listening to this to assume that you can wake up tomorrow and get 50,000 downloads, because it took a lot of hard work for her to get there.
Julian Lewis:
But as you start to see numbers and you start to see trends, reach out to people who you think will resonate with that audience, as long as it's in line with your topic. So, that's such a great tip for our curious and scrappy podcaster.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. And also, just to piggyback off of that, something that I learned is to not rely on external validation. So, I try not to look at the numbers. Initially, I was always asking everybody what they thought of the episode and always trying to get a pulse on, did they approve, did they approve?
Rebecca Schwartz:
And then I was like, first of all, my show, so I call the shots. And I thought it was a good episode. And that's really coming from within is, I think people should measure their own success and also the growth over growth, and not relying on outside validation. Because India could stop listening tomorrow, and I'm still going to be doing the show. And my numbers will drop. That's okay. And I'll figure it out as I go.
Julian Lewis:
No, I was just going to say I love how you said like, if India stops listening tomorrow, like the whole country is tuned in. But yes, definitely makes sense. I'm assuming what TJ was going to say, but you're staying true to yourself, which is perfect.
TJ Bonaventura:
I want to talk about an interesting story. At the beginning, you initially started Dating in the Bae to be a larger brand, I believe. You want to actually be part of a matchmaking service.
TJ Bonaventura:
Now, one, I want to hear about a couple stories in regards to that. Because I think you have some interesting situations where you brought a lot of people together and couples became that. I wonder how those couples are doing, if you know. And then also, is that still on the plan? Is that still on a grandiose plan of Dating in the Bae or where are you thinking the future is going to lie?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. Well, just to tell the story from the very beginning, I made Dating in the Bae as a joke. And I started just posting really funny conversations that I had with people that were like really ridiculous. Then people started following. Yeah, that was probably not a good luck. It probably shouldn't be posting my conversation. So, I deleted them. And then I was like, oh, I could actually, make this into a whole ecosystem where I really like matchmaking. I've matched made a couple of my friends. I really liked doing that.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And so, we hosted a couple of events. And we had a big Valentine's Day party last year. And I think three or four couples were from that event, and then I hosted a bachelor viewing party. We had a couple people, I know they went on dates. I don't know if they're still together for the Valentine's Day party, but I know there were several couples that ... A couple people emailed me asking if I can show them to people that they met at the Valentine's party. They didn't know their names, and I was like, I don't know that person.
TJ Bonaventura:
So, where does it go from here though? So, do you still want to do the matchmaking or is that still part of it?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yes. I definitely want to still do events. And I want to kind of make as many in person events as possible. And I think it'd be really cool down the road if I could make it across the country because I get lots of DMs from people who are in different cities. Either it's like a really rural place where they say that they just can't get any dates, because you have to drive really far to find somebody.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And then also people in the cities also have similar overlapping challenges. That's obviously nuanced, depending on where you are. But it seems the issues that we face here are pretty similar to New York and Miami. I don't know, I just chose Miami. But lots of places all over the country that all kind of we're all in the same boat together.
TJ Bonaventura:
Miami is hot right now.
Julian Lewis:
It is.
TJ Bonaventura:
There's a billboard here. There's a billboard here in the Bay Area telling everyone to go move there.
Rebecca Schwartz:
I've never even been to Miami. So, I don't even know where that came.
TJ Bonaventura:
Hilarious.
Julian Lewis:
That's great that you still have the vision of creating that platform. And because of your experience, you're learning more that it doesn't just have to be at a local bar in the Bay Area, but you can really use your superpowers to get people together. I know a guy that we could get set up.
TJ Bonaventura:
The one thing I appreciate what you're doing is you've adjusted on the fly. It was initially like matchmaking. It was a joke. You had a cohost. You wanted to talk about dating stories. And now it's about just helping people in general.
TJ Bonaventura:
Is that where you see the show continuously going or what are some things that you want to try show related? Do you want to have multiple guests on? Do you want to try doing a live show, that's live stream? What is piquing your interest now that you have I think, like 25 episodes at this point, what is really curious to you?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. That's an interesting question, because I kind of just will brainstorm lots of random ideas about mostly topics, and then I'll try and figure out people that can help me get those topics covered. Like egg freezing. I've been having a lot of trouble getting an egg freezing expert. I guess more like women's issues that we're facing, especially I think most people are in their 30s who was in, I don't know.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But it seems when I ask people about issues, issues that are a little bit taboo, but that are making things a little bit more easy to talk about that sometimes people don't want to talk about. So, mental health and dating, feelings. Sometimes apparently, like men don't talk about their feelings a lot. That's been the new consensus that I heard about from some other episodes that I did. But doubling down and tapping more into, not self-help, but that growth perspective mindset. I think is going to be interesting.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But I'm definitely open to other ideas people have, because I'm still kind of figuring it out. It's more just random things that come in my brain. I wish I could say that I had some big master plan, but it's mostly just me like shooting off random DMs and thinking about random topics about mindfulness or health and people's yeah, just insecurities in general. Does that answer your question?
TJ Bonaventura:
Yeah. It does, it does. And I think a followup to that is, while you've seen a ton of growth, you're on the cusp of starting to like, okay, I think we need to try and find some sponsors. And sponsors do a lot of things. One, it makes your show monetarily successful if you will. Even though we would all agree here that your show is successful. What you've done is incredibly impressive.
TJ Bonaventura:
But now you're starting to hopefully get some revenue from it, which will allow you to hopefully offload some things to other people to hopefully, I don't want to put words in your mouth but grow the show even more. So, let's say you find some sponsors. What are the type of sponsors that you would like to get? And then as a part two of that questions, what would you do with that revenue to help scale the show?
Rebecca Schwartz:
I haven't thought too much about the revenue side just because I don't talk about brands really very much on the show in general. I haven't plugged any specific things. The things that kind of come top of mind are makeup, skincare, that kind of stuff that's more towards women clothes related. I guess I kind of have to think more about the brands or I asked a couple pizza places that I really go to locally if they wanted to sponsor and they said they get back to me just because I like pizza.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But yeah, I think in terms of if I did have revenue, it would be mostly right now going through the editing of and Descript does take quite a bit of time for me. Alleviating that would help me just streamline a bit more because yeah, right now thinking about past episodes, editing those and then trying to email a bunch of people who I want to do for future episodes. And then also actually planning out the episodes that I have already planned.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And that seems sometimes like it can be a lot to juggle all at once, which is why I like working with you guys because you guys helped so much on the editing side and dealing with all the logistics and all the things that are not in my wheelhouse.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. I know, I think that's a definitely a great use I think for most people freeing up that time to be able to then focus on the show, focus on the content, focus on the guests I think makes perfect sense. But if there are any pizza shops that are listening to this, please hit up Becca because we want to get her sponsored with some pizza.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you. Preferably Detroit style pizza, but I'm flexible.
TJ Bonaventura:
Oh, I love meat. So, Detroit style pizza. That's from left field.
Rebecca Schwartz:
So good.
TJ Bonaventura:
I know, right?
Julian Lewis:
There's a spot across from Airbnb that had opened up. That was Detroit style but I don't know if it's open.
TJ Bonaventura:
There's an incredible one in Nopa. Incredible in Nopa. Yeah.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Which one?
TJ Bonaventura:
I don't know the name. It's on the corner. I can tell exactly where it is. I just don't know the name of it. To get a coffee and Detroit pizza.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. Square pie, guys.
TJ Bonaventura:
Yeah.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. And then Cellarmaker. That's the other one.
TJ Bonaventura:
Yeah, exactly. Yup. So, here's a question. One, we still need to know who that's our guest is, their ideal guest. But let's say you really connect with somebody who really vibes with what you're doing as a show, they really get what you're doing, would you consider bringing on a cohost for a second season or taking a pause or bringing them on being full time? Or do you see this, you know what, this is my baby, this is something that I want to just own fully and wholeheartedly?
Rebecca Schwartz:
I would love to have a cohost, because I feel like sometimes my episodes are so focused on getting out the information from my guests that I don't get to actually always talk as much as I want to. Or when I do, I'm kind of like trying to respond to everything. And then I can end up rambling a lot and go hear it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
So, it'd be nice if I had a cohost because I could refer them. And then also, we'd kind of have our own banter and that like you guys have, like you guys. And then also be able to then share information to via my guest. So, I'm open to it.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. I think for me, in particular, when I was doing Couple Collective by myself, I was interviewing couples. And I asked Emily at first if she would do it. And she's like, "I don't even want to do it."
TJ Bonaventura:
Emily's your wife.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. Emily is my wife. And then she started coming with me when I was doing the interviews. So, then every once in a while, you'd hear her laugh. And then as she got more comfortable, she started to be a part of the conversation. And now she has her own podcast where she doesn't even need me anymore, which is interesting.
Julian Lewis:
But no, I think having a cohost and having somebody that you can riff off of is huge. And again, exactly to your point, allows for you to have space to deliver the message that you want to deliver while you're thinking about what you want to say next. So, I think that is a great thing to have. And we'll think of some people that I think would be good. Do you have a profile of who that guest could be or sorry, that cohost could be?
Rebecca Schwartz:
I think it'd be cool to have a guy's perspective. I don't have that many guy friends. So, I think it'd be refreshing to have a guy perspective on the show because I feel like I skew my audience and the issues I talk about are very just my experiences. So, it'd be nice to kind of round it out with somebody else.
TJ Bonaventura:
Another strategy you could have is have temporary cohost. I think a lot of us we think about this idea of really getting bucketed in. It's got to be Julian and I doing the PodOn Podcast, or it's got to be Becca only doing Dating in the Bae.
TJ Bonaventura:
But I think being creative and say, "Hey, will you mind coming on as being a guest cohost with me," well then, I think change and actually allow you to kind of have a little bit of an A/B test, maybe you get more downloads, maybe you get more feedback on social.
TJ Bonaventura:
And then you do a couple of those here and there then all of a sudden, and it could be male, female, whoever. Then after that, maybe it's like oh shit, we can actually move forward. And this actually helps the show overall. I can give them this type of project or this type of responsibility while I own this as a cohost. There's a lot of different things you can do.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. TJ, I love that. And I think about Shawn, my neighbor, who's a marriage and family therapist. In the beginning, he was somebody that interviewed as a guest, but then he became almost like a reoccurring guests slash cohost, because he was really delivering a lot of the content. So, I love that suggestion.
TJ Bonaventura:
All right. So, before we do the last question here, Becca, did you find out who the third guest was, your ideal third guest?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yes.
TJ Bonaventura:
Who is it?
Rebecca Schwartz:
My mother because she refuses to come on the show.
TJ Bonaventura:
What?
Rebecca Schwartz:
She's too shy. I know. But I tell her I'm like, we could practice a bunch. I really want to have her as a guest. So, she's my number one.
TJ Bonaventura:
I think you need to sneak attack a recording there potentially just like put your phone record. And just like tell you're talking and then just release it then you're like, "Hey, ever it's already out there?"
Rebecca Schwartz:
Well, and it's just funny, because so my mom I have her listened to every episode before. I always send her the version before I'm like, "Just give me a thumbs up or thumbs out," like it's going to embarrass her. So far, we're 24 for 24. So, we're good.
TJ Bonaventura:
That's good. That's good.
Julian Lewis:
I was going to make one statement about having family on. I interviewed my parents for Couple Collective, and then-
Rebecca Schwartz:
How was that?
Julian Lewis:
It was great, great conversation, great content. But then they got a little tiff afterwards because my dad said that he had three masters, but we all thought that he only had two and there's this whole thing. There's just like whatever. But it's kind of funny. Just be careful with that.
TJ Bonaventura:
Weird flex, Julian, Sr.
Julian Lewis:
I know, right? I know, right? No, I have three masters. So, I'll serve up the last question. What advice do you have? You've dropped a lot of knowledge for the curious and scrappy podcaster. If there's one thing you can leave the curious and scrappy podcaster with, what would it be?
Rebecca Schwartz:
One thing. I think just thinking broader and thinking more outside the box. Then whatever you're thinking about doing, but then opening that up a lot more broadly, and being really open to seeing what happens. I think initially, I was looking at just doing SF dating stories, talking to my friends about their dating.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And then I ended up pivoting and being ... I think, also flexibility. Being really flexible and being open to pivoting to a completely different where you like, now I'm kind of the intermediary between all these experts and kind of shepherding their messages through me. And I think that's a cool thing that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't willing to kind of go with the flow because I think sometimes people get maybe stuck in their ways a bit.
TJ Bonaventura:
You're definitely a testament to adjusting to being open and honest with yourself about what you excel at, what you want to do and what you want the show to be. So, I commend you for that. And you are a testament also to just growing a show from nothing. It is hard to do it. It is hard to be consistent. It is hard to stay away from pod fade, but you sure as hell did it. So, congratulations to you. You should be super proud. And I think we're all super excited to see where you go with it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Oh, thank you.
Julian Lewis:
Started from the bottom, now you're on the PodOn Podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
There you go.
Rebecca Schwartz:
This is very exciting. My first real podcast that I've been on. So, very excited.
TJ Bonaventura:
Hopefully, you can get on some more. That's how you get more growth. Join more podcasts.
Rebecca Schwartz:
I know. But I'm always so nervous. So, it's like I'm always managing my own. It's fine.
TJ Bonaventura:
No, you're fine. So, before we go, let everyone know where they can find Dating in the Bae, you, how they reach out to you and all that good stuff.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, you can follow me on Instagram @datinginthebae, B-A-E. And you can follow my personal account Pebbles and Pizza. Yeah, you can follow Dating in the Bae podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
Julian Lewis:
Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you guys so much for having me.
Julian Lewis:
Most definitely.
TJ Bonaventura:
Every episode of the PodOn Podcast is produced and edited by StudioPod Media. For more information about our work and our clients, go to studiopodsf.com.
Julian Lewis:
Shout out to Gary Oakland for the fire truck.
TJ Bonaventura:
Gary O.
I think people should measure their own success and also the growth over growth, and not relying on outside validation, because India could stop listening tomorrow, and I'm still going to be doing the show. And my numbers will drop. That's okay. And I'll figure it out as I go.
Julian Lewis:
This is the PodOn Podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
We're your hosts TJ Bonaventura, that's me and Julian Lewis.
Julian Lewis:
That's me. As founders of a podcast media company, we had to start a podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
So, join us each episode as we and our guest drop knowledge on podcasting for you, the curious and scrappy podcaster. Welcome back to another episode of the PodOn Podcast. As always, I'm joined by my partner in crime cofounder of StudioPod and cohost, Julian Lewis.
Julian Lewis:
I love how he changed the introduction every time. It's phenomenal.
TJ Bonaventura:
We got to keep it spicy. We got to keep it spicy for the curious, scrappy podcaster. And speaking of curious and scrappy podcaster, our guest today is Rebecca Schwartz, the phenomenal host of Dating in the Bae. We're going to go by Becca. I call you Becca. So, we're just going to run with it. And I know you go by plenty of different names, depending on who your friend is and who it is that you're talking with.
TJ Bonaventura:
But we're super excited to have you on, not only because you're the host, because at one point, and maybe still are a curious and scrappy podcaster. But before we jump on and get right to it, why don't you give us a quick background about yourself, the show and all the good stuff, and then we'll just go right into it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
All right. Well, thank you guys so much for having me today. I'm excited. I think I'm definitely a curious and scrappy podcaster. I mean, the one woman show over here, just Dating in the Bae, I created it. It's grown and evolved a lot more than what I thought it would be. But basically, I heard a bunch of podcasts that were always talking about dating and relationships, and they always have this element of something's wrong with you, something's missing, and you need to fix it. And I just fundamentally believe that that's not true.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And so, the premise of my show is that we're all whole ... Especially, it's mostly geared to women, but anybody can listen. Yeah. We just basically bring in people, astrologers, experts, coaches, lots of dating related topics, but everything under the hood of what issues we're all dealing with.
Julian Lewis:
That resonates with me tenfold. As I started with Couple Collective, and I really wanted to eliminate some of the expectations that people had of others, and when they're in relationships, or even before they are not. And I think the power of the content that you're creating is that you're telling stories of things that people are feeling, but not necessarily always able to even talk to their best girlfriends or homies about. So, you've created a phenomenal platform.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you. Yeah. It's been like a steep learning curve, but definitely enjoying it and growing every day.
TJ Bonaventura:
Let's jump into that curve a little bit. Because I know you initially started this with a cohost and that changed. But let's talk about the moment when you were like, we need to do a podcast. You were listening to different dating podcast. You fundamentally didn't agree with them. But when was the moment where you're like, "You know what screw it, I'm going to jump right in and create a podcast," and what went through your mind in figuring out what it took to start a show?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, initially, one of my girlfriends and I, we would just always drink wine and talk about all the woes of dating and kind of complain, but also kind of talk about more philosophical ideas about it. And it hadn't really evolved, I guess, into my evolution of how I look at dating relationship, other podcasts until I got more into podcasting in general. But oh, we have funny stories. And like we could shoot the shit together. Sorry. It's okay if I said that. But we can kind of just talk about all our funny stories, and people will probably be able to relate to them.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And it was kind of more of a myopic view of looking at dating, just based in San Francisco. From there, we kind of just talked about it loosely. And that's when I think I mentioned to a bunch of people, I was like, "Oh, I think we're going to start a podcast, but I don't know how." And then, one of my friends who was my building, Erica, she had connected me with you guys. She knew TJ from the gym. So, it was all kind of serendipitous, but we're putting it out in the universe, and then it kind of manifested, I suppose.
Julian Lewis:
That's weird, though, because I didn't realize that TJ went to the gym. He never talks about it. But no, in all seriousness, the thing that I enjoy about the progress that you've made is your resiliency. And so, as TJ mentioned, you started with a partner and a cohost. And at some point, you guys decided to no longer cohost the podcast. But maybe talk a little bit about the journey since you've been doing it yourself and what you've learned about the process and how you've started to see growth and success with what you're doing.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, I would credit the pandemic for a couple of good things. It kind of allowed me to shift. I was thinking more of just we would only have San Francisco based guests and the pandemic really allowed me to just reach out to anybody, anywhere. I could record with anybody and shoot anybody a DM and see if they were game for it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And in terms of my progress, I think it was, I got out of my own way. And then everything else fell into place. I remember when I gave TJ back my microphone that one day kind of gave me like a little nudge, "Oh, you could do it." And I never like actually thought, "Oh, I could do it on my own."
Rebecca Schwartz:
I've been thinking about it. A couple people have been like, "You could do it." And it's like, in my head, I was like, "No, I can't." And then just like, "Well, why not?" Literally, I was unemployed. There's a global pandemic, and I was just sitting at home and talking to myself. So, it's like, might as well just record myself talking to myself already.
TJ Bonaventura:
And you started to really think about when that time, a lot of people, I think with the pandemic, in general, they have these ideas. And then, if you're not going to do it during the pandemic when you have all this time, you're probably not going to do whatever that thing is, write a book, go to the gym. It could be starting a podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
The one thing I also want to commend you on is you actually took the initiative during the pandemic to focus your energy on the podcast. And even though you had that moment of, I don't know if I can do it, you decided to jump forward with it. So, what were those first steps? Because at this point, let's talk about you came into the studio, you thought you had a studio where you could record. We thought you had a cohost that you could share the responsibilities, that ended up not being the case. And then now you're like, "All right, well, I want to start recording at home."
TJ Bonaventura:
What were those steps like? What was your thought process? You're like, "Okay, I need to find some guests," I'm sure. You had equipment. Luckily, we were connected, so we could help you out there. But what about that upfront work? What was going through your mind? What was your process like in developing all of that before you started recording?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. That's a good question. I guess I was thinking, okay, well, I just need to record a couple episodes and kind of get my reps in, like the gym reference, just start getting a little bit more comfortable. I had a couple friends who used to have podcasts. And I was like, "Do you want to help me record and we can just get some practice in."
Rebecca Schwartz:
And it was like kind of the low hanging fruits of those episodes that I was able to start kind of figuring out, okay, these are things that I want to do. These are things that I don't want to do. I don't like recording really late at night with people or I'm not going to drink alcohol when I record. There's certain things I was learning along the way as I started doing more episodes.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And I think just getting more comfortable video recording, things I had never done before. I took a voice class. And that really helped me a lot just in terms of how I sound I suppose or trying to cut out all of my uhm and likes and you knows that I am prone to do that I'm probably doing now.
Julian Lewis:
I love that. You became a student of your craft. It was something that you committed to doing as TJ said, and you became a student of it, and you wanted to try different ways. And I love what you reference in terms of your low hanging fruit. People who are already podcasting or friends that you can start to have conversations with, so you could get comfortable on the mic.
Julian Lewis:
And I think that is the wall that a lot of people run into when they're like, "Oh, I don't like how I sound or I don't feel comfortable doing this." You again invested your time and your craft to learn it and to get over that hump, which is phenomenal. And I think all curious and scrappy podcasters can learn from that.
TJ Bonaventura:
But I think one of the things I want to double down on given where the state of where you're at when you first met us, and we're learning about podcasting, and ultimately learning about yourself and hearing your voice and something we all deal with, especially those who are new to podcasting, specifically, is hearing yourself and challenging yourself to understand it's okay, you sound like what you sound. Everybody has a crutch word, everybody has an uhm word.
TJ Bonaventura:
And one of the processes that we worked out with you is giving you access to Descript, to go through and listen to that. And it kind of gives you access to hear yourself and understand how many uhm words. I'm sure and tell me if I'm wrong, that kind of led you to go to that voice, those voice lessons, those coaching lessons potentially. Am I right there? Am I wrong there?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. Well, it was kind of also serendipitous because I was tearing the Descript. And then also I just happened to hear a different podcast on one of my morning walks where the guy who was interviewed was Bradley Cooper's voice coach who helped him change his voice for A Star is Born. Anyways, then I signed up for his class, which was awesome. I highly recommend Roger Love. I'm trying to get him on the podcast, too.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But yeah, Descript is awesome because it basically highlights all of the things that I know that I need to work on. And then I'm like, "Okay, oh, I sound super monotone. My energy doesn't match this energy." Even though I meant to sound a certain way I didn't come across that way. And so, kind of having to add extra energy and extra, just getting in the right mindset. I feel like now I'm kind of superstitious where I'm like, okay, I have to, I don't know, listen to my favorite songs before and I don't know wear my favorite shoes. I don't know. I don't know if people do that but that's what I do.
TJ Bonaventura:
It's like you're preparing to go into athletes prepared to go into a game. They have the same thing. They wear the same socks. They wear the same hat. They will have headphones coming in, things like that. So, I love that.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah, it's good. That's why I'm wearing a hat right now.
TJ Bonaventura:
Julian's got his hat. Julian's a hat guy in case anyone didn't know.
Julian Lewis:
I mean, I do have a question on whether or not the intent behind getting Bradley Cooper's coach was for podcasting, or if you're trying to be in a movie like Star is Born. But I think one of the things that I love that you talked about earlier, and you kind of said it quickly, but I want you to really dive into that. You've had some phenomenal guests, authors, founders of companies, like the person who started match.com. You talked earlier about just sliding into DMs and asking people to be on the podcast. Can you talk a little bit more about your process of outreach, and how successful that's been for you?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. It's actually sometimes freaks me out how receptive people are. And then, I get really overwhelmed. Because sometimes late at night, I'm just like, shooting off DMS to random people who have massive accounts. And then, they write back and they're like, "Sure." I'm like, "Oh, uh-oh." And so, I have a bunch of those that are in the pipeline that I'm low key freaking out about. But I kind of will think about random things like dating related TV shows. I had a guy who's on a reality TV show on the show. People just they're very receptive. I think people like attention in general.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And I think people like to say yes, with the assumption that most people, especially right now, people crave human connection more than ever. I think we're also getting more yeses probably than normal. But I guess it's the same approach that I have for dating that I use for the podcast, which is just like cast a wide net and see what happens. And the more open you are, you never know what's going to happen.
TJ Bonaventura:
Who's an ideal guest? If you could have any three individuals that you would want as a guest and you have them lined up, who would they be?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Oh, this is hard. Probably Trevor Noah, because I just want to talk to him. Brené Brown, definitely want to talk to her. This is tricky. I'm going to think about I want this to be a good person. Can we come back to that one?
TJ Bonaventura:
As you go through, you're going to have to let us know. So, let's talk about the mechanics of scheduling. You have the behind the scenes aspect going. You're working with us from an editing perspective. You have the equipment. You're feeling confident in your voice. You're sliding into DMs. You're reaching out to people as much as you possibly can. Julian hates when I use that term, maybe it's antiquated at this point, I just still think it's very funny.
Julian Lewis:
I'm waiting for the bridge between sliding into DMs in the gym.
TJ Bonaventura:
This is turning into the crushed TJ episode. So, when someone asks you like why do I want to be on the show, why do you want to have me be on the show, what is it that you tell them? What is it that you exude about your audience yourself, the basis of the show? How do you formulate that?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, basically, I say that I'm in the trenches with all my listeners. I can really empathize. I understand that the key issues that they're going through and feeling and I also have the same humor. I kind of just understand all the things that will push buttons that will activate kind of people's, I think, interesting like the topics and basically framing it to them. I think that their perspective will really resonate.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And also, I am trying to create a really positive platform where we talk about dating and a healthy way that we're not ... I want people to feel like when they walk away from an episode that they're taking away at least two tangible things that they can change in their life, something, whether it's just some positive mantra they can do or how they can fix those self-limiting beliefs. Any of those kinds of things, I want them to walk away with.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Even if it's just they enjoyed the episode and had a couple laughs. Whatever it is, I want to have a couple things that people take away and can remember it by and think that's how I want to make sure that the guests understand that that's what I want to accomplish with them. And then we kind of work towards that together.
TJ Bonaventura:
I think that's great. I think oftentimes, hosts like yourself, really get excited about having a guest on that they like or just having a guest, in addition to have a conversation. But the fact that you think of two tangible things that you want your audience to come away with is super powerful, and I think isn't taken into consideration enough.
TJ Bonaventura:
At the end of the day, you're creating this show for your audience to really just create awesome content for them to be able to listen to week in and week out. But the fact that you're making sure that each episode you have those two tangible things, it's just a credit to you and something that I just don't think a lot of podcasts out there think about. They just want to do an interview. And I think people are going to listen. But you have something specific. And I think that's awesome. And I think it needs to happen more.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you. Yeah. I think it's just when I think about the podcast that I turn on and then will stop midway, it's because I'm like, where's this going? It's just there's no arc or any sort of tangible walkaway. It's not an educational and you just kind of listening to something that I don't know. I feel like time now especially what is time at this point. But it's just kind of, I feel like our time is very valuable. And I don't want to waste anybody's time, especially if they're tuning in, I want them to take something positive away from it.
Julian Lewis:
Can you also talk about your engagement with your audience. Because from our purview, we follow you on social media. It seems like you're constantly posting before an episode and then you're constantly posting after an episode. Can you talk a little bit about how you've truly starting to build a community?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. I think it's kind of tribe of sorts of people are kind of all in this together, especially when even we're all saying but we're also kind of collectively feeling the same underlying issues. And I think being able to talk more openly about vulnerability and how to bring your authentic self to the table, and all these issues of dealing with rejection and all these insecurities that people are facing. And I don't think usually people talk about it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And I've actually received a lot of random feedback from guys who I know from other contexts that reach out to me. They send me long, long messages about their perspective, how it's changed so much. They were saying how they never had a clue about how women were thinking about how their perspective is so different and how our logic is so different, and how it just made them think in a completely different way. And I thought that was cool. Because I didn't know, obviously, who's listening. But it's just interesting to hear how everybody takes something else away from episodes.
TJ Bonaventura:
I want to talk about who's listening for a second, because you have found a specific trend. You're in 67 countries, I think, 68 countries as of right now. Your show was drawing every episode, it seems like or it is. But you found a certain country that has taken a liking to your show. Can you talk a little bit about that and how you adjusted your content to fit that audience base?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, apparently, India likes Dating in the Bae, which is super exciting and kind of random. And I don't really know how they found it. But I'm glad that they are interested in the content. And yeah, most recently, I had a Bollywood actor, who I just ran my DM, and had him on and kind of learned about dating in India.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And he's also British, so hearing about being Indian in Britain, and then also going back to India, and how that's really different. And I didn't even know about all the kind of, he was like, "Yeah, in India, people just talk about their phone number to anybody and they're very forward." And it was super interesting. And I think I definitely want to have more just different countries highlighted, because I think it'd be really cool perspective to hear about how we're all tackling it in different ways.
Julian Lewis:
That's such a phenomenal thing to look at, okay, where are my listeners coming from? Who are they? And let me try to find somebody who aligns to them. And so, I think for all curious and scrappy podcasters, take note. And it really doesn't matter if have as many downloads as Rebecca does have. She's what? Crossed the 50,000 mark a while ago, which is phenomenal. And it's going to take a lot of work to get there. Everybody listening to this to assume that you can wake up tomorrow and get 50,000 downloads, because it took a lot of hard work for her to get there.
Julian Lewis:
But as you start to see numbers and you start to see trends, reach out to people who you think will resonate with that audience, as long as it's in line with your topic. So, that's such a great tip for our curious and scrappy podcaster.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. And also, just to piggyback off of that, something that I learned is to not rely on external validation. So, I try not to look at the numbers. Initially, I was always asking everybody what they thought of the episode and always trying to get a pulse on, did they approve, did they approve?
Rebecca Schwartz:
And then I was like, first of all, my show, so I call the shots. And I thought it was a good episode. And that's really coming from within is, I think people should measure their own success and also the growth over growth, and not relying on outside validation. Because India could stop listening tomorrow, and I'm still going to be doing the show. And my numbers will drop. That's okay. And I'll figure it out as I go.
Julian Lewis:
No, I was just going to say I love how you said like, if India stops listening tomorrow, like the whole country is tuned in. But yes, definitely makes sense. I'm assuming what TJ was going to say, but you're staying true to yourself, which is perfect.
TJ Bonaventura:
I want to talk about an interesting story. At the beginning, you initially started Dating in the Bae to be a larger brand, I believe. You want to actually be part of a matchmaking service.
TJ Bonaventura:
Now, one, I want to hear about a couple stories in regards to that. Because I think you have some interesting situations where you brought a lot of people together and couples became that. I wonder how those couples are doing, if you know. And then also, is that still on the plan? Is that still on a grandiose plan of Dating in the Bae or where are you thinking the future is going to lie?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. Well, just to tell the story from the very beginning, I made Dating in the Bae as a joke. And I started just posting really funny conversations that I had with people that were like really ridiculous. Then people started following. Yeah, that was probably not a good luck. It probably shouldn't be posting my conversation. So, I deleted them. And then I was like, oh, I could actually, make this into a whole ecosystem where I really like matchmaking. I've matched made a couple of my friends. I really liked doing that.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And so, we hosted a couple of events. And we had a big Valentine's Day party last year. And I think three or four couples were from that event, and then I hosted a bachelor viewing party. We had a couple people, I know they went on dates. I don't know if they're still together for the Valentine's Day party, but I know there were several couples that ... A couple people emailed me asking if I can show them to people that they met at the Valentine's party. They didn't know their names, and I was like, I don't know that person.
TJ Bonaventura:
So, where does it go from here though? So, do you still want to do the matchmaking or is that still part of it?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yes. I definitely want to still do events. And I want to kind of make as many in person events as possible. And I think it'd be really cool down the road if I could make it across the country because I get lots of DMs from people who are in different cities. Either it's like a really rural place where they say that they just can't get any dates, because you have to drive really far to find somebody.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And then also people in the cities also have similar overlapping challenges. That's obviously nuanced, depending on where you are. But it seems the issues that we face here are pretty similar to New York and Miami. I don't know, I just chose Miami. But lots of places all over the country that all kind of we're all in the same boat together.
TJ Bonaventura:
Miami is hot right now.
Julian Lewis:
It is.
TJ Bonaventura:
There's a billboard here. There's a billboard here in the Bay Area telling everyone to go move there.
Rebecca Schwartz:
I've never even been to Miami. So, I don't even know where that came.
TJ Bonaventura:
Hilarious.
Julian Lewis:
That's great that you still have the vision of creating that platform. And because of your experience, you're learning more that it doesn't just have to be at a local bar in the Bay Area, but you can really use your superpowers to get people together. I know a guy that we could get set up.
TJ Bonaventura:
The one thing I appreciate what you're doing is you've adjusted on the fly. It was initially like matchmaking. It was a joke. You had a cohost. You wanted to talk about dating stories. And now it's about just helping people in general.
TJ Bonaventura:
Is that where you see the show continuously going or what are some things that you want to try show related? Do you want to have multiple guests on? Do you want to try doing a live show, that's live stream? What is piquing your interest now that you have I think, like 25 episodes at this point, what is really curious to you?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. That's an interesting question, because I kind of just will brainstorm lots of random ideas about mostly topics, and then I'll try and figure out people that can help me get those topics covered. Like egg freezing. I've been having a lot of trouble getting an egg freezing expert. I guess more like women's issues that we're facing, especially I think most people are in their 30s who was in, I don't know.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But it seems when I ask people about issues, issues that are a little bit taboo, but that are making things a little bit more easy to talk about that sometimes people don't want to talk about. So, mental health and dating, feelings. Sometimes apparently, like men don't talk about their feelings a lot. That's been the new consensus that I heard about from some other episodes that I did. But doubling down and tapping more into, not self-help, but that growth perspective mindset. I think is going to be interesting.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But I'm definitely open to other ideas people have, because I'm still kind of figuring it out. It's more just random things that come in my brain. I wish I could say that I had some big master plan, but it's mostly just me like shooting off random DMs and thinking about random topics about mindfulness or health and people's yeah, just insecurities in general. Does that answer your question?
TJ Bonaventura:
Yeah. It does, it does. And I think a followup to that is, while you've seen a ton of growth, you're on the cusp of starting to like, okay, I think we need to try and find some sponsors. And sponsors do a lot of things. One, it makes your show monetarily successful if you will. Even though we would all agree here that your show is successful. What you've done is incredibly impressive.
TJ Bonaventura:
But now you're starting to hopefully get some revenue from it, which will allow you to hopefully offload some things to other people to hopefully, I don't want to put words in your mouth but grow the show even more. So, let's say you find some sponsors. What are the type of sponsors that you would like to get? And then as a part two of that questions, what would you do with that revenue to help scale the show?
Rebecca Schwartz:
I haven't thought too much about the revenue side just because I don't talk about brands really very much on the show in general. I haven't plugged any specific things. The things that kind of come top of mind are makeup, skincare, that kind of stuff that's more towards women clothes related. I guess I kind of have to think more about the brands or I asked a couple pizza places that I really go to locally if they wanted to sponsor and they said they get back to me just because I like pizza.
Rebecca Schwartz:
But yeah, I think in terms of if I did have revenue, it would be mostly right now going through the editing of and Descript does take quite a bit of time for me. Alleviating that would help me just streamline a bit more because yeah, right now thinking about past episodes, editing those and then trying to email a bunch of people who I want to do for future episodes. And then also actually planning out the episodes that I have already planned.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And that seems sometimes like it can be a lot to juggle all at once, which is why I like working with you guys because you guys helped so much on the editing side and dealing with all the logistics and all the things that are not in my wheelhouse.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. I know, I think that's a definitely a great use I think for most people freeing up that time to be able to then focus on the show, focus on the content, focus on the guests I think makes perfect sense. But if there are any pizza shops that are listening to this, please hit up Becca because we want to get her sponsored with some pizza.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you. Preferably Detroit style pizza, but I'm flexible.
TJ Bonaventura:
Oh, I love meat. So, Detroit style pizza. That's from left field.
Rebecca Schwartz:
So good.
TJ Bonaventura:
I know, right?
Julian Lewis:
There's a spot across from Airbnb that had opened up. That was Detroit style but I don't know if it's open.
TJ Bonaventura:
There's an incredible one in Nopa. Incredible in Nopa. Yeah.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Which one?
TJ Bonaventura:
I don't know the name. It's on the corner. I can tell exactly where it is. I just don't know the name of it. To get a coffee and Detroit pizza.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. Square pie, guys.
TJ Bonaventura:
Yeah.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. And then Cellarmaker. That's the other one.
TJ Bonaventura:
Yeah, exactly. Yup. So, here's a question. One, we still need to know who that's our guest is, their ideal guest. But let's say you really connect with somebody who really vibes with what you're doing as a show, they really get what you're doing, would you consider bringing on a cohost for a second season or taking a pause or bringing them on being full time? Or do you see this, you know what, this is my baby, this is something that I want to just own fully and wholeheartedly?
Rebecca Schwartz:
I would love to have a cohost, because I feel like sometimes my episodes are so focused on getting out the information from my guests that I don't get to actually always talk as much as I want to. Or when I do, I'm kind of like trying to respond to everything. And then I can end up rambling a lot and go hear it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
So, it'd be nice if I had a cohost because I could refer them. And then also, we'd kind of have our own banter and that like you guys have, like you guys. And then also be able to then share information to via my guest. So, I'm open to it.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. I think for me, in particular, when I was doing Couple Collective by myself, I was interviewing couples. And I asked Emily at first if she would do it. And she's like, "I don't even want to do it."
TJ Bonaventura:
Emily's your wife.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. Emily is my wife. And then she started coming with me when I was doing the interviews. So, then every once in a while, you'd hear her laugh. And then as she got more comfortable, she started to be a part of the conversation. And now she has her own podcast where she doesn't even need me anymore, which is interesting.
Julian Lewis:
But no, I think having a cohost and having somebody that you can riff off of is huge. And again, exactly to your point, allows for you to have space to deliver the message that you want to deliver while you're thinking about what you want to say next. So, I think that is a great thing to have. And we'll think of some people that I think would be good. Do you have a profile of who that guest could be or sorry, that cohost could be?
Rebecca Schwartz:
I think it'd be cool to have a guy's perspective. I don't have that many guy friends. So, I think it'd be refreshing to have a guy perspective on the show because I feel like I skew my audience and the issues I talk about are very just my experiences. So, it'd be nice to kind of round it out with somebody else.
TJ Bonaventura:
Another strategy you could have is have temporary cohost. I think a lot of us we think about this idea of really getting bucketed in. It's got to be Julian and I doing the PodOn Podcast, or it's got to be Becca only doing Dating in the Bae.
TJ Bonaventura:
But I think being creative and say, "Hey, will you mind coming on as being a guest cohost with me," well then, I think change and actually allow you to kind of have a little bit of an A/B test, maybe you get more downloads, maybe you get more feedback on social.
TJ Bonaventura:
And then you do a couple of those here and there then all of a sudden, and it could be male, female, whoever. Then after that, maybe it's like oh shit, we can actually move forward. And this actually helps the show overall. I can give them this type of project or this type of responsibility while I own this as a cohost. There's a lot of different things you can do.
Julian Lewis:
Yeah. TJ, I love that. And I think about Shawn, my neighbor, who's a marriage and family therapist. In the beginning, he was somebody that interviewed as a guest, but then he became almost like a reoccurring guests slash cohost, because he was really delivering a lot of the content. So, I love that suggestion.
TJ Bonaventura:
All right. So, before we do the last question here, Becca, did you find out who the third guest was, your ideal third guest?
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yes.
TJ Bonaventura:
Who is it?
Rebecca Schwartz:
My mother because she refuses to come on the show.
TJ Bonaventura:
What?
Rebecca Schwartz:
She's too shy. I know. But I tell her I'm like, we could practice a bunch. I really want to have her as a guest. So, she's my number one.
TJ Bonaventura:
I think you need to sneak attack a recording there potentially just like put your phone record. And just like tell you're talking and then just release it then you're like, "Hey, ever it's already out there?"
Rebecca Schwartz:
Well, and it's just funny, because so my mom I have her listened to every episode before. I always send her the version before I'm like, "Just give me a thumbs up or thumbs out," like it's going to embarrass her. So far, we're 24 for 24. So, we're good.
TJ Bonaventura:
That's good. That's good.
Julian Lewis:
I was going to make one statement about having family on. I interviewed my parents for Couple Collective, and then-
Rebecca Schwartz:
How was that?
Julian Lewis:
It was great, great conversation, great content. But then they got a little tiff afterwards because my dad said that he had three masters, but we all thought that he only had two and there's this whole thing. There's just like whatever. But it's kind of funny. Just be careful with that.
TJ Bonaventura:
Weird flex, Julian, Sr.
Julian Lewis:
I know, right? I know, right? No, I have three masters. So, I'll serve up the last question. What advice do you have? You've dropped a lot of knowledge for the curious and scrappy podcaster. If there's one thing you can leave the curious and scrappy podcaster with, what would it be?
Rebecca Schwartz:
One thing. I think just thinking broader and thinking more outside the box. Then whatever you're thinking about doing, but then opening that up a lot more broadly, and being really open to seeing what happens. I think initially, I was looking at just doing SF dating stories, talking to my friends about their dating.
Rebecca Schwartz:
And then I ended up pivoting and being ... I think, also flexibility. Being really flexible and being open to pivoting to a completely different where you like, now I'm kind of the intermediary between all these experts and kind of shepherding their messages through me. And I think that's a cool thing that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't willing to kind of go with the flow because I think sometimes people get maybe stuck in their ways a bit.
TJ Bonaventura:
You're definitely a testament to adjusting to being open and honest with yourself about what you excel at, what you want to do and what you want the show to be. So, I commend you for that. And you are a testament also to just growing a show from nothing. It is hard to do it. It is hard to be consistent. It is hard to stay away from pod fade, but you sure as hell did it. So, congratulations to you. You should be super proud. And I think we're all super excited to see where you go with it.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Oh, thank you.
Julian Lewis:
Started from the bottom, now you're on the PodOn Podcast.
TJ Bonaventura:
There you go.
Rebecca Schwartz:
This is very exciting. My first real podcast that I've been on. So, very excited.
TJ Bonaventura:
Hopefully, you can get on some more. That's how you get more growth. Join more podcasts.
Rebecca Schwartz:
I know. But I'm always so nervous. So, it's like I'm always managing my own. It's fine.
TJ Bonaventura:
No, you're fine. So, before we go, let everyone know where they can find Dating in the Bae, you, how they reach out to you and all that good stuff.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Yeah. So, you can follow me on Instagram @datinginthebae, B-A-E. And you can follow my personal account Pebbles and Pizza. Yeah, you can follow Dating in the Bae podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
Julian Lewis:
Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on.
Rebecca Schwartz:
Thank you guys so much for having me.
Julian Lewis:
Most definitely.
TJ Bonaventura:
Every episode of the PodOn Podcast is produced and edited by StudioPod Media. For more information about our work and our clients, go to studiopodsf.com.
Julian Lewis:
Shout out to Gary Oakland for the fire truck.
TJ Bonaventura:
Gary O.